2nd Mistake/ Lesson 2- Fourth day since coming home

Here we go again :(

I was at a Christmas party and I met a girl there (she's a senior in High School). I think our conversation about God started when we started talking about college and making good friends there. She was worried that college was all about partying and drinking, but my brother and I told her, "No, you just need to find the right group of people who respect your decision not to drink." She was surprised to hear that we didn't drink in college, and that we didn't party on the weekends or the weekdays. Afterward, I assured her that she would be able to find good friends there because I understood how she felt. She told me she was jaded from High School (from all the drama, the gossiping, cattiness, etc.) Then I asked her, completely without thinking, "Are you religious by any chance?" She shook her head and told me, "I was very religious once, but over the years, I started believing less and less until now, I don't believe at all." She told me she had a lot of doubts and that she was a very logical person, but she never got her questions answered. She told me that people often gave her the answer, "It's just the way it is! Just have faith." She couldn't accept the simple answer "it's just the way it is. Don't question it, just believe." I totally relate to her.

Then she asked me, "Many conflicts and wars happened because of religious disputes. Why do you believe that Christianity is the one religion? Why do you have wars over this belief, and why did God allow it?"

I was struck dumb. Which is ridiculous! I took SET over the summer, Course 101, and have questioned my leaders and the upperclassmen, and even my peers on questions like these, but somehow I couldn't think of the answer. I was completely caught off guard. This means I have been slipping a lot over Winter Break- I have "unwinded" too much. My mind has either turned into mush or has decided, at that crucial point, not to function. I began saying, "Well, you can't blame God. People are all prone to make mistakes. God is a just and loving God, he advocates love, fellowship, and forgiveness...he would never support war, violence, murder...it's all written in the 10 commandments!" But that answer was not satisfactory to her. She just gazed at me and said, "Wow you seem very religious." But that was not the reply I wanted to hear! She asked me how I became Christian. I told her my story and shared a bit of my testimony, but at the end, she said, "I need a more logical answer. You are an artist" - she gave me an uneasy look- I sighed and agreed, "You're right, I'm more of a "feeler" than someone who can give you the clear cut, logical side of things."

She started to get up, but I suddenly said, "Wait, I think I have a better explanation to your question." She sat down. I asked her, "Do you remember the Adam and Eve story?" She nodded. I said, "God gave us free will out of love. That is why we are prone to sin. Many of the evils of the world is not within God's control because we were given this free will to make choices of our own, sometimes bad choices...sometimes good choices." Still, it wasn't enough. She seemed like she wanted to get away from me more than she wanted to sit down and listen to me ramble. When she left, I was hitting myself over how my answers were so...elementary.

Now that I'm at home again, I remember that I could have said that wars and conflicts do not just stem from religious disputes. Many of the worst wars and conflicts came out from things that were not related to religion at all. There are two sides to everything. But still, I don't feel like it is an adequate answer.

Man, I have definitely not done my homework. There are so many aspects of Christianity that I haven't researched about yet. And now I realize that knowing Christianity inside and out is not enough (Another problem is, I don't know Christianity inside and out). I need to research on other religions: Muslim, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc. When someone throws a question like "Why choose Christianity out of all the other religions?" It will be hard to answer if one didn't have a knowledge on the other religions.

BUT the thing that frustrates me the most is that MANY people give up on Christianity...on God...because they just aren't willing to get on that computer, type in their doubt into that awesome google search bar, and SEARCH for answers to their questions, or get UP, go to the library, and check out a book that might have the answers to their questions!* Why work so hard to learn to read and then NOT USE this skill?! People give up so easily. It basically goes like this "Uh oh, she didn't give me an adequate answer, one strike...2 to go...and then I'm gonna give up on this religious thingymajiggy."

*She told me she never read an apologetic before, even when she was religious. I told her to check out "The Reason for God" and an author called "Lee Stroebel." But she didn't seem interested. I asked her if she ever bothered looking up her doubts on the internet or through a book. She shook her head. That saddens me. I told her my pastor is a very logical person, and that in order to break through many barriers of doubt, he sought out answers until he got them...and now he is a pastor. That means the answer is OUT THERE. You just have to actively look for it!

Of course, knowing this means I have to work harder and keep myself from slipping too much over break. I seem to have forgotten a lot of what I learned in Course 101 and SET, and from our discipleship retreats.

Guys, this is another lesson that I learned. Always be on guard. Always. And even if you think you know the answer to a question completely, and are completely convinced by this answer, you might be surprised to learn that people are all different, and that they need different answers to the same question in order to even just loosen their doubt by a little bit. Man, this is harder than I thought. Still, gloria in excelsis deo. Because we love Him.

God bless,
Lily