The question: What about all the wars that have been caused in the name of Christianity? [Keyword: many conflicts/wars were caused by religious disputes. Why did God allow this?]
After an afternoon of searching for answers, and thinking of answers of my own, I wrote them down on my electronic notebook. Free feel to critique and question it, actually, please do! I have already been asked this question two times: once from the girl I met at the Christmas party and second from my dad.
Many conflicts/wars were caused by religious disputes. Why did God allow this?
[Begin thought process]
i. Well, you can't blame God. People are all prone to make mistakes. God is a just and loving God, he advocates love, fellowship, and forgiveness...he would never support war, violence, murder...it's all written in the 10 commandments
ii. Adam and Eve; God gave us free will out of love. That is why humans are prone to sin because we were give free will to make choices of our own. That is the risk God took because He loved us too much. Sometimes our choices are bad, but sometimes our choices are good.
-If God knew that free will would cause so many problems, why did he allow it? (Very stupid question, maybe they won't ask...). Or why did God set up the tree in the garden of Eden? It seems like a trap.
Answer: Because love without freedom/free will is not truly love. If someone is forced to love you, would you be happy? Would the other person be happy?
iii. *Remember that we should not judge the teachings or the truth of a religion or philosophy by the conduct or behavior of those who are not following those teachings.
iv. Jesus warns of this in Matthew 24: "For many will come in my name, claiming, "I am the Messiah," and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars…such things must happen. Nations will rise against nation…all these are the beginning of birth pains…Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but whoever stands firm to the end will be saved." We learn from the mistakes of the past, and we all try not to let history repeat itself. Nowadays, do you hear of major wars in the name of Christianity? No. We have learned from our mistakes.
v. We have to consider that many wars/atrocities committed in the name of Christ were carried out by people who weren't really Christians or were Christians but didn't follow the teachings of Jesus- judge Christianity by the teachings of its founder and leader, Jesus Christ, not by the actions of those people. In the New Testament of the bible, Jesus says "If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also," and "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you," and of course "love your neighbor as yourself."
vi. Remember that war is not a problem just for Christianity. It is a problem for all religions and ideologies. Also remember that more murders have been committed by atheistic regimes in this century than have been committed by any "Christian" organization/government over the past 2,000 years.
vii. Don't forget the positive impact Christianity has made on society. Other than charity, donations, fundraising, volunteering, etc. One must remember that most of our educational institutions came out of Christianity (if I'm not wrong, Berkeley's motto is "Fiat Lux" though that probably doesn't mean much]. "Many of the founders of modern science were Christians." Philanthropic organizations such as the "Salvation Army, the Red Cross and the YMCA came out of these revivals [ of the 17th and 18th centuries]." I think the article I am reading is referring to the Christian revival=> the two great awakenings. (Wiki it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revivalism)
[End thought process]
Love,
Lily
P.S http://powertochange.com/questions/qna5/
P.P.S I finally bought Mere Christianity!!! I also went to church today, man I missed Covenant Life, and my pastor's awesome sermons.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
2nd Mistake/ Lesson 2- Fourth day since coming home
Here we go again :(
I was at a Christmas party and I met a girl there (she's a senior in High School). I think our conversation about God started when we started talking about college and making good friends there. She was worried that college was all about partying and drinking, but my brother and I told her, "No, you just need to find the right group of people who respect your decision not to drink." She was surprised to hear that we didn't drink in college, and that we didn't party on the weekends or the weekdays. Afterward, I assured her that she would be able to find good friends there because I understood how she felt. She told me she was jaded from High School (from all the drama, the gossiping, cattiness, etc.) Then I asked her, completely without thinking, "Are you religious by any chance?" She shook her head and told me, "I was very religious once, but over the years, I started believing less and less until now, I don't believe at all." She told me she had a lot of doubts and that she was a very logical person, but she never got her questions answered. She told me that people often gave her the answer, "It's just the way it is! Just have faith." She couldn't accept the simple answer "it's just the way it is. Don't question it, just believe." I totally relate to her.
Then she asked me, "Many conflicts and wars happened because of religious disputes. Why do you believe that Christianity is the one religion? Why do you have wars over this belief, and why did God allow it?"
I was struck dumb. Which is ridiculous! I took SET over the summer, Course 101, and have questioned my leaders and the upperclassmen, and even my peers on questions like these, but somehow I couldn't think of the answer. I was completely caught off guard. This means I have been slipping a lot over Winter Break- I have "unwinded" too much. My mind has either turned into mush or has decided, at that crucial point, not to function. I began saying, "Well, you can't blame God. People are all prone to make mistakes. God is a just and loving God, he advocates love, fellowship, and forgiveness...he would never support war, violence, murder...it's all written in the 10 commandments!" But that answer was not satisfactory to her. She just gazed at me and said, "Wow you seem very religious." But that was not the reply I wanted to hear! She asked me how I became Christian. I told her my story and shared a bit of my testimony, but at the end, she said, "I need a more logical answer. You are an artist" - she gave me an uneasy look- I sighed and agreed, "You're right, I'm more of a "feeler" than someone who can give you the clear cut, logical side of things."
She started to get up, but I suddenly said, "Wait, I think I have a better explanation to your question." She sat down. I asked her, "Do you remember the Adam and Eve story?" She nodded. I said, "God gave us free will out of love. That is why we are prone to sin. Many of the evils of the world is not within God's control because we were given this free will to make choices of our own, sometimes bad choices...sometimes good choices." Still, it wasn't enough. She seemed like she wanted to get away from me more than she wanted to sit down and listen to me ramble. When she left, I was hitting myself over how my answers were so...elementary.
Now that I'm at home again, I remember that I could have said that wars and conflicts do not just stem from religious disputes. Many of the worst wars and conflicts came out from things that were not related to religion at all. There are two sides to everything. But still, I don't feel like it is an adequate answer.
Man, I have definitely not done my homework. There are so many aspects of Christianity that I haven't researched about yet. And now I realize that knowing Christianity inside and out is not enough (Another problem is, I don't know Christianity inside and out). I need to research on other religions: Muslim, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc. When someone throws a question like "Why choose Christianity out of all the other religions?" It will be hard to answer if one didn't have a knowledge on the other religions.
BUT the thing that frustrates me the most is that MANY people give up on Christianity...on God...because they just aren't willing to get on that computer, type in their doubt into that awesome google search bar, and SEARCH for answers to their questions, or get UP, go to the library, and check out a book that might have the answers to their questions!* Why work so hard to learn to read and then NOT USE this skill?! People give up so easily. It basically goes like this "Uh oh, she didn't give me an adequate answer, one strike...2 to go...and then I'm gonna give up on this religious thingymajiggy."
*She told me she never read an apologetic before, even when she was religious. I told her to check out "The Reason for God" and an author called "Lee Stroebel." But she didn't seem interested. I asked her if she ever bothered looking up her doubts on the internet or through a book. She shook her head. That saddens me. I told her my pastor is a very logical person, and that in order to break through many barriers of doubt, he sought out answers until he got them...and now he is a pastor. That means the answer is OUT THERE. You just have to actively look for it!
Of course, knowing this means I have to work harder and keep myself from slipping too much over break. I seem to have forgotten a lot of what I learned in Course 101 and SET, and from our discipleship retreats.
Guys, this is another lesson that I learned. Always be on guard. Always. And even if you think you know the answer to a question completely, and are completely convinced by this answer, you might be surprised to learn that people are all different, and that they need different answers to the same question in order to even just loosen their doubt by a little bit. Man, this is harder than I thought. Still, gloria in excelsis deo. Because we love Him.
God bless,
Lily
I was at a Christmas party and I met a girl there (she's a senior in High School). I think our conversation about God started when we started talking about college and making good friends there. She was worried that college was all about partying and drinking, but my brother and I told her, "No, you just need to find the right group of people who respect your decision not to drink." She was surprised to hear that we didn't drink in college, and that we didn't party on the weekends or the weekdays. Afterward, I assured her that she would be able to find good friends there because I understood how she felt. She told me she was jaded from High School (from all the drama, the gossiping, cattiness, etc.) Then I asked her, completely without thinking, "Are you religious by any chance?" She shook her head and told me, "I was very religious once, but over the years, I started believing less and less until now, I don't believe at all." She told me she had a lot of doubts and that she was a very logical person, but she never got her questions answered. She told me that people often gave her the answer, "It's just the way it is! Just have faith." She couldn't accept the simple answer "it's just the way it is. Don't question it, just believe." I totally relate to her.
Then she asked me, "Many conflicts and wars happened because of religious disputes. Why do you believe that Christianity is the one religion? Why do you have wars over this belief, and why did God allow it?"
I was struck dumb. Which is ridiculous! I took SET over the summer, Course 101, and have questioned my leaders and the upperclassmen, and even my peers on questions like these, but somehow I couldn't think of the answer. I was completely caught off guard. This means I have been slipping a lot over Winter Break- I have "unwinded" too much. My mind has either turned into mush or has decided, at that crucial point, not to function. I began saying, "Well, you can't blame God. People are all prone to make mistakes. God is a just and loving God, he advocates love, fellowship, and forgiveness...he would never support war, violence, murder...it's all written in the 10 commandments!" But that answer was not satisfactory to her. She just gazed at me and said, "Wow you seem very religious." But that was not the reply I wanted to hear! She asked me how I became Christian. I told her my story and shared a bit of my testimony, but at the end, she said, "I need a more logical answer. You are an artist" - she gave me an uneasy look- I sighed and agreed, "You're right, I'm more of a "feeler" than someone who can give you the clear cut, logical side of things."
She started to get up, but I suddenly said, "Wait, I think I have a better explanation to your question." She sat down. I asked her, "Do you remember the Adam and Eve story?" She nodded. I said, "God gave us free will out of love. That is why we are prone to sin. Many of the evils of the world is not within God's control because we were given this free will to make choices of our own, sometimes bad choices...sometimes good choices." Still, it wasn't enough. She seemed like she wanted to get away from me more than she wanted to sit down and listen to me ramble. When she left, I was hitting myself over how my answers were so...elementary.
Now that I'm at home again, I remember that I could have said that wars and conflicts do not just stem from religious disputes. Many of the worst wars and conflicts came out from things that were not related to religion at all. There are two sides to everything. But still, I don't feel like it is an adequate answer.
Man, I have definitely not done my homework. There are so many aspects of Christianity that I haven't researched about yet. And now I realize that knowing Christianity inside and out is not enough (Another problem is, I don't know Christianity inside and out). I need to research on other religions: Muslim, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc. When someone throws a question like "Why choose Christianity out of all the other religions?" It will be hard to answer if one didn't have a knowledge on the other religions.
BUT the thing that frustrates me the most is that MANY people give up on Christianity...on God...because they just aren't willing to get on that computer, type in their doubt into that awesome google search bar, and SEARCH for answers to their questions, or get UP, go to the library, and check out a book that might have the answers to their questions!* Why work so hard to learn to read and then NOT USE this skill?! People give up so easily. It basically goes like this "Uh oh, she didn't give me an adequate answer, one strike...2 to go...and then I'm gonna give up on this religious thingymajiggy."
*She told me she never read an apologetic before, even when she was religious. I told her to check out "The Reason for God" and an author called "Lee Stroebel." But she didn't seem interested. I asked her if she ever bothered looking up her doubts on the internet or through a book. She shook her head. That saddens me. I told her my pastor is a very logical person, and that in order to break through many barriers of doubt, he sought out answers until he got them...and now he is a pastor. That means the answer is OUT THERE. You just have to actively look for it!
Of course, knowing this means I have to work harder and keep myself from slipping too much over break. I seem to have forgotten a lot of what I learned in Course 101 and SET, and from our discipleship retreats.
Guys, this is another lesson that I learned. Always be on guard. Always. And even if you think you know the answer to a question completely, and are completely convinced by this answer, you might be surprised to learn that people are all different, and that they need different answers to the same question in order to even just loosen their doubt by a little bit. Man, this is harder than I thought. Still, gloria in excelsis deo. Because we love Him.
God bless,
Lily
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Mistake- 2nd Day after coming home.
Today I made a stupid mistake. I met up with two of my old High School friends, David and Cacey, to go to the mall today. David was the guy who interned at Oracle over the summer and came to one of our A2F blue's bible study. And Cacey is my best friend =)
While we were driving back, we suddenly touched on the topic of evil, and David quips, "I don't believe in sin." I reply, "Well "sin" may seem like a strong word, but its definition is just the word "wrong." David replies, "I don't believe in wrong or right." I suddenly got angry. I said, "So you don't believe a man who rapes a thousand girls and tortures them before he kills them is wrong? There's a moral standard in this world." I think I said it too harsh because he starts to retort in this very philosophical voice, "You're talking about the absolute-" before my brother (he was the driver) cuts him off and says, "guys, calm down."
David said something else, but I was too blinded by my anger to hear. I said "Why don't you read the "Reason for God" book I gave you over the summer and maybe then you'll understand." He replies, "Umm...I don't think so." His tone made his words seem final. That's when I yelled back, "Fine, then give it back to me."
I know...stupid stupid stupid stupid. I know I shouldn't have said that. I know I shouldn't have reacted so strongly. I wonder what I could have said differently in reply to his question, and then I wish I could have been patient enough to listen to every word he said before I argued anything back. This taught me a big lesson. Listen carefully before you speak. And always, "emotional intelligence." The hardest part of emotional intelligence is: "Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy" - Aristotle.
Please don't make the same mistake I did. This was a backward step for me to introduce the gospel to 2 people over Winter Break. Now I have to take two steps forward.
But before I do that, I need to apologize to him.
While we were driving back, we suddenly touched on the topic of evil, and David quips, "I don't believe in sin." I reply, "Well "sin" may seem like a strong word, but its definition is just the word "wrong." David replies, "I don't believe in wrong or right." I suddenly got angry. I said, "So you don't believe a man who rapes a thousand girls and tortures them before he kills them is wrong? There's a moral standard in this world." I think I said it too harsh because he starts to retort in this very philosophical voice, "You're talking about the absolute-" before my brother (he was the driver) cuts him off and says, "guys, calm down."
David said something else, but I was too blinded by my anger to hear. I said "Why don't you read the "Reason for God" book I gave you over the summer and maybe then you'll understand." He replies, "Umm...I don't think so." His tone made his words seem final. That's when I yelled back, "Fine, then give it back to me."
I know...stupid stupid stupid stupid. I know I shouldn't have said that. I know I shouldn't have reacted so strongly. I wonder what I could have said differently in reply to his question, and then I wish I could have been patient enough to listen to every word he said before I argued anything back. This taught me a big lesson. Listen carefully before you speak. And always, "emotional intelligence." The hardest part of emotional intelligence is: "Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy" - Aristotle.
Please don't make the same mistake I did. This was a backward step for me to introduce the gospel to 2 people over Winter Break. Now I have to take two steps forward.
But before I do that, I need to apologize to him.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Project 1 Done
I think I'm done with this painting for now...I have another project to focus on called "Falling Angel" so I'm going to give this a status of "Finished." I wanted to decorate her with traditional Chinese clothing + fan + other stuff but I don't think I have time right now so the dragon will suffice. Enjoy!
Additional Hours took: 5 hrs.
Tools: Photoshop + Tablet
Reference: None.
Status: Finished
Love,
Lily
P.S Took me forever to get that wet, saturated look on the painting >.< Never knew the smudge tool + smudge (saturation) would come in so much handy
Additional Hours took: 5 hrs.Tools: Photoshop + Tablet
Reference: None.
Status: Finished
Love,
Lily
P.S Took me forever to get that wet, saturated look on the painting >.< Never knew the smudge tool + smudge (saturation) would come in so much handy
Friday, December 5, 2008
Peek at a project
I finally finished editing the picture "Porcelain" that I originally had on my deviantart account. Now I just need to add a dragon in the background (using a style of Chinese brush strokes to complete it) =) Enjoy!
It's so plain :(
Hours took: Too long to count (started during Thanksgiving break)
Status: Not finished.
Tools used: Wacom Intuos + Photoshop CS2 + Open Canvas 4.05 +
*Sorry about the watermark- once I'm done with the painting, I'll take off the watermark and post it on my deviantart.
Love,
Lily
Monday, December 1, 2008
Pixar Opportunity! Ah!
I just can't stop smiling. Pixar offers a summer program/internship for undergraduates who do not have a degree yet, but are interested in animation, arts, or computer science. I found this out today while I was surfing through Pixar's job listings:
Here is a bit of its descriptions:
The odds are definitely against me. I'm not pursuing a major in arts/computer science/etc. and Pixar will know that just by looking at my transcript, lol...with my Econ + UGBA 0_0 yikes. And I don't have any background in computer science. Oh well, it's well worth a try. I'm going to work really hard this Winter Break on my portfolio and application.
Please be my support! This is what it feels like to have a goal! I haven't had a real goal (a goal that seems almost unreachable; that requires a lot of hardwork to achieve...and needs a bit of luck as well...) in so long. We'll see how it goes.
Love,
Lily
Here is a bit of its descriptions:
The odds are definitely against me. I'm not pursuing a major in arts/computer science/etc. and Pixar will know that just by looking at my transcript, lol...with my Econ + UGBA 0_0 yikes. And I don't have any background in computer science. Oh well, it's well worth a try. I'm going to work really hard this Winter Break on my portfolio and application.Please be my support! This is what it feels like to have a goal! I haven't had a real goal (a goal that seems almost unreachable; that requires a lot of hardwork to achieve...and needs a bit of luck as well...) in so long. We'll see how it goes.
Love,
Lily
Sofia Blooper
LOL...here's a little conversation Sofia and I had on google chat as we were looking at BIAY together...:
| changsofa284: Lily? |
| me: YEAHHH? |
| SORRY WHAT'S UP? |
| I WAS READING PEOPLE'S BLOGSSS |
| good question [I was commenting on Sofia's question for "Q&A Genesis"] |
| the first one |
| I wondered about that too |
| changsofa284: the towel of babel? |
| xD |
| me: .... |
| the "tower" you mean.... |
| =_= |
| changsofa284: OH, |
| me: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA |
| changsofa284: OOOOOSHOOOOOOOOOOOOTTT |
| SHOOOOTTTTTT |
| me: oh my god...this is going on disgracepoint! |
| changsofa284: i cant help LOL now -w- |
| OMY..... |
| me: this should totally go on disgracepoint... oh man... |
| changsofa284: this is sad.... |
| no wonder it sounded weird... |
| it's too late man.... |
| 1:45am.... |
| =w= changsofa284: omy.. cant believe i actually wrote towel..... TTwTT |
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Multi-sale Friday!
I really wanted to wake up early to get a digital camera from circuit city...but haha I couldn't wake up =p so I got up at 10:30 a.m instead and went with Tracy, her friend Olivia, and her little brother Justin to the mall. I bought a "guitar lessons" book + dvd! I can't wait to read it and watch the dvd. It was on sale at Borders! Yay for Black Friday!
Yesterday was Thanksgiving and I forgot to post :( but Tracy's family had a huge party and I met this girl there name Jing. She goes to UCSD and she's part of this church called Kairos Fellowship Church. We talked a lot about Christianity, fellowship, and evangelism. It was really nice to have someone to talk to at the party. All the other kids were busy playing wii and xbox 360 in the other room (though I'm guilty of playing a little Halo and super smash as well hehehe). At one point we even shared a life/death struggle together....okay....lol it wasn't that extreme at all, but I was trying to open the window of the room I was staying at and the screen fell off so I kind of dived after it, and then I realized I couldn't get back into the room because I did jump like 7 feet down. So Jing and I ensued in a "tug-a-war" session between gravity and her, me being the rope. At this point, I realized I really needed some WEIGHT training because man, I could not pull myself up! No wonder I suck at arm wrestling.
Haha anyway, thanksgiving break has been good to me. I'm almost too comfortable here. I have so much free time- I spend it just drawing away on the computer, using Tracy's really nice Wacom intuos 3 tablet. I'm currently finishing up 3 projects (all going at the same time...which is bad because I have a minor case of ADHD so it's hard for me to start something and finish it). Oh well I still want to try. I'll post it on this blog or deviantart soon.
I'm going back to Berkeley tomorrow around 10: 30 a.m. It'll take me 2 hours to get back so I'll be there by 1:00 p.m. I hope everything is going well with everyone. Sofia and Carolynnnn- I hope you guys were productive at home. I know I wasn'tttt :p (academic wise). I can't wait to see you guys. I missed a2f + gracepoint so much. I do have a lot of stuff to share with my sisters.
Love,
Lily
Yesterday was Thanksgiving and I forgot to post :( but Tracy's family had a huge party and I met this girl there name Jing. She goes to UCSD and she's part of this church called Kairos Fellowship Church. We talked a lot about Christianity, fellowship, and evangelism. It was really nice to have someone to talk to at the party. All the other kids were busy playing wii and xbox 360 in the other room (though I'm guilty of playing a little Halo and super smash as well hehehe). At one point we even shared a life/death struggle together....okay....lol it wasn't that extreme at all, but I was trying to open the window of the room I was staying at and the screen fell off so I kind of dived after it, and then I realized I couldn't get back into the room because I did jump like 7 feet down. So Jing and I ensued in a "tug-a-war" session between gravity and her, me being the rope. At this point, I realized I really needed some WEIGHT training because man, I could not pull myself up! No wonder I suck at arm wrestling.
Haha anyway, thanksgiving break has been good to me. I'm almost too comfortable here. I have so much free time- I spend it just drawing away on the computer, using Tracy's really nice Wacom intuos 3 tablet. I'm currently finishing up 3 projects (all going at the same time...which is bad because I have a minor case of ADHD so it's hard for me to start something and finish it). Oh well I still want to try. I'll post it on this blog or deviantart soon.
I'm going back to Berkeley tomorrow around 10: 30 a.m. It'll take me 2 hours to get back so I'll be there by 1:00 p.m. I hope everything is going well with everyone. Sofia and Carolynnnn- I hope you guys were productive at home. I know I wasn'tttt :p (academic wise). I can't wait to see you guys. I missed a2f + gracepoint so much. I do have a lot of stuff to share with my sisters.
Love,
Lily
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Results from The Search
Yay! I finally got some pictures from "The Search" event...though it's not much.
Nick Pitera and I. Really wish I had more chance to talk to him about animation + Pixar and such. Oh well :( Maybe someday...in the future.
1/3 of my creative committee looking spiffy in front of Julia Morgan haha =) How cute.Yay! Going to San Jose in about 15 hours. W00t! Can't wait to meet my mom's good friend and her daughter, Tracy (Check out her deviantart porfolio)
*Warning: there are some promiscuous drawings :/ but it's not that bad.
I hope everyone will have a wonderful, awesome, fantastic, superrrrrr THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY!
I love you God! You're my hero, my savior, my all =) I'm eternally grateful.
Love,
Lily
P.S I'll update again on Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
New Art
Just finished a new piece of artwork; took 6.5 hours but they were a fun 6.5 hours (I don't think I could study this long 0_0) haha
I call it "Wonder!" ...like "Wonderbreaddd!!!"...okay fine maybe "wonderchild"?...well it's gotta have wonder in it because I like that word :p
*Got to experiment with fingers and feet (man I never knew drawing hands and feet could be so annoying and hard), lighting, shadow, and kids (because I never draw little children).
I call it "Wonder!" ...like "Wonderbreaddd!!!"...okay fine maybe "wonderchild"?...well it's gotta have wonder in it because I like that word :p
*Got to experiment with fingers and feet (man I never knew drawing hands and feet could be so annoying and hard), lighting, shadow, and kids (because I never draw little children).
Enjoy!
Love, Lily (It's going to be put on my deviantart account)
Love, Lily (It's going to be put on my deviantart account)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Why is "hard work" so hard?!
These days I can't concentrate on my studies. Actually I haven't been able to concentrate ever since the semester started. I'm getting my mid-terms back, and although they're not horrible...I used to do better. I've always had this problem with the idea of working "too" hard at something. Back in High School, I calculated my degree of "hard work" so well that I never spent more time than was necessary to achieve a good grade; which really meant if straight A's can be consisted of a bunch of 89.9% then that's exactly what I'm getting. Sure my GPA may have been higher than a 3.8 + throughout high school, but if they were represented by percents, more than 80% of the A's were 89.9%'s. I just never worked hard at anything (well...except for AP Chemistry...which I tried to get a 100%...but then I got distracted by this anime that just came out during that time...). Funny thing is...it was hard work making sure I didn't work too hard at something...>.< kinda sad eh?
I wish I knew how to work hard! That was such a stupid sentence. I feel guilty every time I take a break in my studies to do something totally wasteful and totally meaningless like surf the internet or watch a movie or drool at people's artwork on deviantart when I could instead call up a friend and SPREAD the gospel!!.......no. See?! Aish I'm a lost case.
I once knew a friend who practiced 8 hours on the piano EVERY DAY! (for 2 months!) 0_0 in order to win this competition. This means monotonous repetition of the same song over and over and over and over and over and over...need I say more? How do people do that?! How does one have the willpower to do that...the stamina...the tenacity....the abandoning of all pleasure and other activities to live and breathe PIANO?!
Life offers too many distractions. It's hard to focus. I can't read Statistics without thinking of this cartoon that I want to watch or this painting I want to paint or this career I want to pursue or Gracepoint's upcoming events or getting a private tour at Dreamworks Studio!! or this food I really really want to eat or this blazer I'm dying to buy (I hope they have it in my size) or randomly thinking of Psalm 23 or the Genesis and how scary God can be in the old testament....and...and ....and ARGHH! Oh kill me.
Will someone please teach me how to focus? No. I need to learn that on my own. -Cries- That's the hard part...and I hate the word "hard"! Oh Brett...and Alex Harris...how do you guys "do hard things"? ....
I wish I knew how to work hard! That was such a stupid sentence. I feel guilty every time I take a break in my studies to do something totally wasteful and totally meaningless like surf the internet or watch a movie or drool at people's artwork on deviantart when I could instead call up a friend and SPREAD the gospel!!.......no. See?! Aish I'm a lost case.
I once knew a friend who practiced 8 hours on the piano EVERY DAY! (for 2 months!) 0_0 in order to win this competition. This means monotonous repetition of the same song over and over and over and over and over and over...need I say more? How do people do that?! How does one have the willpower to do that...the stamina...the tenacity....the abandoning of all pleasure and other activities to live and breathe PIANO?!
Life offers too many distractions. It's hard to focus. I can't read Statistics without thinking of this cartoon that I want to watch or this painting I want to paint or this career I want to pursue or Gracepoint's upcoming events or getting a private tour at Dreamworks Studio!! or this food I really really want to eat or this blazer I'm dying to buy (I hope they have it in my size) or randomly thinking of Psalm 23 or the Genesis and how scary God can be in the old testament....and...and ....and ARGHH! Oh kill me.
Will someone please teach me how to focus? No. I need to learn that on my own. -Cries- That's the hard part...and I hate the word "hard"! Oh Brett...and Alex Harris...how do you guys "do hard things"? ....
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Love Language
I finally got around to taking the 5 love languages quiz! Yay! Here are my results:
*I completely agree with my love languages. Though I feel "receiving gifts" could be a little higher hehe :p
| Score | Love Language | ||
| 9 | Words of Affirmation | ||
| 8 | Quality Time | ||
| 3 | Receiving of Gifts | ||
| 2 | Acts of Service | ||
| 8 | Physical Touch | ||
| | |||
How to interpret your Profile Score:
Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary love
language. If two scores are identical, you are bilingual (you have two primary love languages). If the scores of your
primary and your secondary language are close (for example, 10 & 9 respectfully), it indicates both are important to
you. Whatever a significant other does to express love in either of these languages will get emotional points with you.
The highest possible score for any language is 12.
Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary love
language. If two scores are identical, you are bilingual (you have two primary love languages). If the scores of your
primary and your secondary language are close (for example, 10 & 9 respectfully), it indicates both are important to
you. Whatever a significant other does to express love in either of these languages will get emotional points with you.
The highest possible score for any language is 12.
*I completely agree with my love languages. Though I feel "receiving gifts" could be a little higher hehe :p
God Did
"God Did" by Shane & Shane
Growin’ up I overheard
All the grown ups sayin’
You better be prayin’
And sayin’
All the right little things
At the right little times
And I had it down
At least on the outside
I’d put my best side forward
I could smile with the best
And dress like the rest
Of the messed up church folk singin’ a song
Are you sitting down
With all your sin and shame all stored up
Are you ready to live
For what the law could not do
God did
Could it be that morality
Got the best of you and me
Got us thinking
That we’re on the brink
Of a drink of the cup that’s all filled up
With the cross havin’ even a little to do with us
It was His day
It was His way
To the glory of His grace
Took our disease
Enough to please
The Father of lights
To bruise Jesus
Maybe do’s and don’ts
Were made to show
How much we do
And don’t ever make it
“Lord, help us to understand the depth of Your ever sovereign sacrifice in Jesus. That what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh…” (Rom 8:3)
All the grown ups sayin’
You better be prayin’
And sayin’
All the right little things
At the right little times
And I had it down
At least on the outside
I’d put my best side forward
I could smile with the best
And dress like the rest
Of the messed up church folk singin’ a song
Are you sitting down
With all your sin and shame all stored up
Are you ready to live
For what the law could not do
God did
Could it be that morality
Got the best of you and me
Got us thinking
That we’re on the brink
Of a drink of the cup that’s all filled up
With the cross havin’ even a little to do with us
It was His day
It was His way
To the glory of His grace
Took our disease
Enough to please
The Father of lights
To bruise Jesus
Maybe do’s and don’ts
Were made to show
How much we do
And don’t ever make it
“Lord, help us to understand the depth of Your ever sovereign sacrifice in Jesus. That what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh…” (Rom 8:3)
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Search-Nick Pitera
Hey guys,
I just wanted to let you know that my organization (UMA) is hosting an event called "The Search" on November 13th, at the Julia Morgan Theatre- 7:30 p.m! I'll be working on the tech crew (doing sound and music). If you would like to come, just talk to me =)
Nick Pitera will be at the performance, here's his video advertising the show:
If you can come, that would be awesome! I can assure you guys that there won't be any strange, provocative, abrasive, etc. things going on at the show. Ego is coming to perform (Traditional Korean Drumming Group), Movement jazz, Jellotech (hip-hop group), Noteworthy, and more!
There's this girl name Lisa Qin who is coming as well (she's got several videos on youtube). She plays the guitar really well and she sings like a superstar. (She sings in Japanese)
And then this guy name Johnny Shin who's singing this piece by Rain called "I Do." Hehe that'll be fun to listen to.
And then of course...Nick Pitera. Let's see if he can really sing like a girl...
Much love,
Lily
http://thesearchatcal.com
I just wanted to let you know that my organization (UMA) is hosting an event called "The Search" on November 13th, at the Julia Morgan Theatre- 7:30 p.m! I'll be working on the tech crew (doing sound and music). If you would like to come, just talk to me =)
Nick Pitera will be at the performance, here's his video advertising the show:
If you can come, that would be awesome! I can assure you guys that there won't be any strange, provocative, abrasive, etc. things going on at the show. Ego is coming to perform (Traditional Korean Drumming Group), Movement jazz, Jellotech (hip-hop group), Noteworthy, and more!
There's this girl name Lisa Qin who is coming as well (she's got several videos on youtube). She plays the guitar really well and she sings like a superstar. (She sings in Japanese)
And then this guy name Johnny Shin who's singing this piece by Rain called "I Do." Hehe that'll be fun to listen to.
And then of course...Nick Pitera. Let's see if he can really sing like a girl...
Much love,
Lily
http://thesearchatcal.com
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
GONE!
Ahh! Can't wait for GONE tomorrow- hopefully the presidents from UMA will approve me not going to the speaker panel tomorrow (which is at the same time). I'm a little sad I won't be able to meet the representatives from Google, Gallup Polls, Burson Marsteller, and Johnson & Johnson but so what? I've got bigger fish to catch :p lol...that doesn't make a lot of sense >.<
Oooo by the way, if you're interested, check out: http://thesearchatcal.com (my design is on there :p).
It's an event sponsored by my club Undergraduate Marketing Association. Guest performer: Nick Pitera (the guy who...sings like a girl- remember "A Whole New World"?) is coming to perform. If you're interested, I might be able to give you a discount price on the ticket hehe.
Love,
Lily
Oooo by the way, if you're interested, check out: http://thesearchatcal.com (my design is on there :p).
It's an event sponsored by my club Undergraduate Marketing Association. Guest performer: Nick Pitera (the guy who...sings like a girl- remember "A Whole New World"?) is coming to perform. If you're interested, I might be able to give you a discount price on the ticket hehe.
Love,
Lily
Need sleep zzZzz
I really really need sleep zZZzz...I'm sad I missed prayer meeting :(
DT today with Stephanie and Christina was awesome. I'm beginning to really look forward to DT sessions with them. I also learned a new trick to making a book cover hehehe- I can't wait to try it; I'm going to cover my bible with a FANCY paper bag so that it'll never get dirty or dusty again! (I learned this trick today during DT while I was analyzing this bible I borrowed from someone at the Y :p) Man people are so creative!
All right...mid-term coming up soon so I really need to sleep zZzz. I'm also sad that I've been missing my Stat, math, and archery lectures again :( I don't get you math, engineering, science majors...math and stat just bores me to death. I can't even get past an equation without knocking out. And if I see the pi symbol, or the sigma, or the nu, or eveennn the carrot symbol (is that what it's called? That thingamagiggy you put after a number to indicate exponentiality)...my vision starts to blur and I go half blind. I swear!
Much love,
Lily
DT today with Stephanie and Christina was awesome. I'm beginning to really look forward to DT sessions with them. I also learned a new trick to making a book cover hehehe- I can't wait to try it; I'm going to cover my bible with a FANCY paper bag so that it'll never get dirty or dusty again! (I learned this trick today during DT while I was analyzing this bible I borrowed from someone at the Y :p) Man people are so creative!
All right...mid-term coming up soon so I really need to sleep zZzz. I'm also sad that I've been missing my Stat, math, and archery lectures again :( I don't get you math, engineering, science majors...math and stat just bores me to death. I can't even get past an equation without knocking out. And if I see the pi symbol, or the sigma, or the nu, or eveennn the carrot symbol (is that what it's called? That thingamagiggy you put after a number to indicate exponentiality)...my vision starts to blur and I go half blind. I swear!
Much love,
Lily
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The Search
Yay! I just finished a design for my club's (Undergraduate Marketing Association)'s huge event coming up on November 13th!
Disclaimer: The image was not taken by my me. It was taken by an awesome photographer http://www.flickr.com/photos/
(I just photoshoped it)
Enjoy!
Love,
Lily
P.S. Today during one of our UMA officer meetings...the vice president got on his knees, with this HUGE bouquet of flowers in his hands, to our co-president (they're dating)...and proposed! (All right not exactly but he presented her with a "promise ring") OH MY GOD. It was just too much- one of the officers and I almost burst out crying.
Love,
Lily
P.S. Today during one of our UMA officer meetings...the vice president got on his knees, with this HUGE bouquet of flowers in his hands, to our co-president (they're dating)...and proposed! (All right not exactly but he presented her with a "promise ring") OH MY GOD. It was just too much- one of the officers and I almost burst out crying.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sisters in the rain...
Oh my goodness, I couldn't start studying until I finished this piece which got imprinted in my mind and wouldn't go away!I remember saying to Jenny as we were walking towards the corner of Hillegass/Dwight- as we gazed at the other sisters ahead of us, in little pairs, under their umbrellas- "Jenny, that is a painting right there. Them and their umbrellas, and the architecture, and the glow from the lights. I wish I could paint that." Aish...I didn't know I was serious >.<
Title: Sisters in the Rain.
Status: unfinished
People: Front (from left to right): Carolyn, Sofia
Back (from left to right): Catarina, Stephanie
Time it took: 3.5 hours
Love,
Lily
Status: unfinished
People: Front (from left to right): Carolyn, Sofia
Back (from left to right): Catarina, Stephanie
Time it took: 3.5 hours
Love,
Lily
P.S If you want to see other artwork, visit my digital art portfolio
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Spiritual growth and time
Pastor Ed brought up a piercing example during Sunday's sermon- that when you have little time for spiritual growth, you ultimately have little time to research answers to answer questions/doubts many atheists bring up:
Remember that question your friend asked you long ago: "Why does God allow babies to die?" The question that you still don't have a good answer for because you never HAD the time to look this answer up in the bible or through apologetics such as The Reason for God or Letters from a Skeptic.
I remember my best friend asked me once "If this idea of Christianity is so true, so good for humanity, then why doesn't everyone believe right now? Why?" I remember I had no good answer for it.
Then I remember she also asked me once "What about the people of this world before Jesus came to save us and die on the cross? Were they not saved? Huh?"...I also didn't have a good answer for it.
Then I remember my other best friend asked me once: "I hate the way religions keep warring against one another. It feels like all you're doing is competing against each other and arguing "My God is better." That's stupid...that's why I'm agnostic. I believe there's someone higher up there, but I don't believe He exists in any one of your religions." I didn't have a good answer for that.
A friend asked me once: "I don't get this trinity thing, how can God be three things at once? It all sounds so fantastical to me- like some sort of fable. Seriously, what is this God = Jesus concept? Wasn't Jesus God's son? How can He be God....and the son....>.<
But as I'm reading the bible more now, praying more, growing more, reading apologetics...I'm starting to see the answer to all my friend's questions; if they ask me these questions now (2 years later), I can answer with more assurity. But I can't believe it took me 2 years to realize this. I hardly talk to any of them now. I'm so ashamed. Oh how time flies!
Love,
Lily
P.S If anyone shares the same doubt as my friend's, tell me! I'll provide a good answer for you! I promise!
Remember that question your friend asked you long ago: "Why does God allow babies to die?" The question that you still don't have a good answer for because you never HAD the time to look this answer up in the bible or through apologetics such as The Reason for God or Letters from a Skeptic.
I remember my best friend asked me once "If this idea of Christianity is so true, so good for humanity, then why doesn't everyone believe right now? Why?" I remember I had no good answer for it.
Then I remember she also asked me once "What about the people of this world before Jesus came to save us and die on the cross? Were they not saved? Huh?"...I also didn't have a good answer for it.
Then I remember my other best friend asked me once: "I hate the way religions keep warring against one another. It feels like all you're doing is competing against each other and arguing "My God is better." That's stupid...that's why I'm agnostic. I believe there's someone higher up there, but I don't believe He exists in any one of your religions." I didn't have a good answer for that.
A friend asked me once: "I don't get this trinity thing, how can God be three things at once? It all sounds so fantastical to me- like some sort of fable. Seriously, what is this God = Jesus concept? Wasn't Jesus God's son? How can He be God....and the son....>.<
But as I'm reading the bible more now, praying more, growing more, reading apologetics...I'm starting to see the answer to all my friend's questions; if they ask me these questions now (2 years later), I can answer with more assurity. But I can't believe it took me 2 years to realize this. I hardly talk to any of them now. I'm so ashamed. Oh how time flies!
Love,
Lily
P.S If anyone shares the same doubt as my friend's, tell me! I'll provide a good answer for you! I promise!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Happy Birthday Winnie!
Happy Birthday Winnieeee the Poooh Pooh!! Yay, it's the first time I can add a pooh to someone's name without a this =_= expression from somebody hehehehe.
I really pray for Winnie's mother...and her family overall. I know it hurts so much. Winnie is my role model. No matter how much she struggles, she puts on a strong and calm face in any situation. I want to learn from her- I want to face my struggles with the same peace and the same strength as she has.
God is with her. He promised us "Surely I am with you always..." Matthew 28:20.
God bless,
Lily
P.S. If you have time, please take a peek at my deviantart portfolio =)
I really pray for Winnie's mother...and her family overall. I know it hurts so much. Winnie is my role model. No matter how much she struggles, she puts on a strong and calm face in any situation. I want to learn from her- I want to face my struggles with the same peace and the same strength as she has.
God is with her. He promised us "Surely I am with you always..." Matthew 28:20.
-----------------
My favorite story
-----------------
My favorite story
-----------------
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints,
so I said to the Lord,
“ You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“ The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
my child, is when I carried you.”
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints,
so I said to the Lord,
“ You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“ The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
my child, is when I carried you.”
--Author Mary Stevenson--
God bless,
Lily
P.S. If you have time, please take a peek at my deviantart portfolio =)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Taking a break
I just realized that if I don't take 10 minute breaks in between my 40 minute studying spans, my brain goes WAYYYY ADD. That is how short my attention span is 0_0. So I'm taking one of those awesome 10 minute breaks right now...hmm...I've got 3 minutes before my break ends! Ahh! And then back to Stat. I'll post until 11:37, and then I'll study Stat 20 for 40 more minutes...and then I'll post again on the same post. Yay! Blogging is going to be my break today.
I've decided on a whim today that I'm going to sit in on Chinese 100ax lectures every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 8:00 a.m until the end of this semester....hmmmmmmmmmmm...CAN I PERSEVERE WITH IT? I really want to take Chinese 100BX next semester, but my Chinese is- Ack! 11:37 p.m! TIME TO STUDY, I'LL BE BACK :P
- 11:37 p.m -
Ahh I can't study anymore. I'M GOING TO SLEEP zZZZzzzz! I'll post tomorrowwwwwwww
- 12:00 a.m -
I've decided on a whim today that I'm going to sit in on Chinese 100ax lectures every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning at 8:00 a.m until the end of this semester....hmmmmmmmmmmm...CAN I PERSEVERE WITH IT? I really want to take Chinese 100BX next semester, but my Chinese is- Ack! 11:37 p.m! TIME TO STUDY, I'LL BE BACK :P
- 11:37 p.m -
Ahh I can't study anymore. I'M GOING TO SLEEP zZZZzzzz! I'll post tomorrowwwwwwww
- 12:00 a.m -
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Economics
Hey guys, wanna understand what reallly happened during the subprime mortage crisis? You gotta watch this: (Absolutely hilarious)
Love,
Lily
You can see the script here if you don't understand some parts. That last line though...man...that was brutal honesty right to the core. We pay for Wall Street's greed.
Love,
Lily
You can see the script here if you don't understand some parts. That last line though...man...that was brutal honesty right to the core. We pay for Wall Street's greed.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Not a fairy tale ending but maybe a good ending nonetheless?
I've been posting a load of stupid, useless stuff these days haven't I? None of my posts are really meaningful or insightful or anything. This post probably isn't going to be any different, but at least it won't be about soymilk, sublet, dot, ebay...etc.
I was really struck by the song we sang today at church: "More than enough." I heard this song a million times already, but today, I heard it differently. It stung me, though it never did before. I realized that you could have everything in the world- great people around you, great friendships, a comfortable lifestyle, money + job, clothing, and shelter, but you won't be truly happy without God in your life. If you're spiritually dead, nothing...I mean nothing in the world is going to make you truly happy. I know because I'm feeling it now- this spiritual deadness within me. I've let it consume me these past few days and the funny thing is I'm still letting it consume me. This process has led to bitterness, anger, self-pity...I know I'm falling away from God but somehow this "I don't care" attitude has dominated the "help me" cry. I know I cried in church; I remember I said to God in prayer: Please help me! But after church, I reverted back to the stubborn, defiant ol' me.
This post is so negative right now but you know, I realized this is a reality for many people. Stories don't always start with "I'm struggling and I'm depressed" and end with "but I prayed to God, felt his wonderful light/presence wash over me...forgiving me...cleansing me and now I am redeemed- I have once again found joy in my life!" But don't worry, this post isn't going to end negatively, though a lot of times it does (I know because one of my best friends in High School was never able to reconcile with God again, fell away from Christianity, and became a hard core atheist). The reason is there is always a struggle in between- it's just a matter of whether you can overcome this struggle or not. This struggle is mostly about "Can I really put my faith in God or should I just rely on myself?" The correct answer is obviously: put your faith in God (in CAPS with an exclamation mark at the end), but do you really believe in this answer? Sometimes we don't. And then there's always human's rebellious nature. Never underestimate this innate rebellion against God born from when Adam and Eve first defied God's command.
I'm feeling that rebelliousness within me right now. Even though I know I need Him, I'm saying and I'm feeling 'I don't care!' and 'God, I just finished that whole fiasco with my other roommate back in the cottage and now this?! I deserve a break! I hardly attended any of my lectures these past 6 weeks- I'm failing school and now I have to deal with this? I need a break." (Why is the kit kat commercial popping up in my head...) Now I'm just being childish. Yikes, I'm going off a tangent...this is why I'm an ENFP...my short attention span strikes again.
My main point is despite all this turmoil, all this struggle, all this hodgepodge of junk (mostly junk like junk thoughts: "I can't believe she lied to me...I can't believe she did this...I can't believe this is happening to me... or "What if my sublet's this evil evil person...what if?" or the "Rights" thoughts- "This is my right to have a break...I have a right to do this because this..that..this that...it's only FAIR that way" or my junk emotions: anger, bitterness, hate, self-pity....), I got to step back and see the big picture: without God, I will never be happy. And then, somehow, every itty bitty little thing just sort of vaporizes. These past few days, I may have done DT...I may have prayed...and I may have gone to church, but my mind was never really on God- my heart was never really with God, it was always elsewhere.
And this is when a chorus of angels come up to sing "HALLELUJAH!" and a spotlight shines on my face. Now I understand why I need him. Now I know why I got to put my faith in him. And now I'm hitting myself and wondering why in the world I'm rebelling against God, why in the world am I rebelling against true happiness? And then I remember when I wrote in a post once: "Happiness is like perfume, you spray a little on others and get some on yourself in the process." This isn't even a biblical statement but I get it. When I make God happy, I become happy as well. When my "lifesong sings to" Him, and "brings a smile to His face" (Casting Crown: "Lifesong"), I 100% doubt anyone is going to say "and then I became sad." Doi! That's analogous to someone saying "I just ate all of Nancy's delicious home-made cheesecake a second ago and I feel so sad because I'm starving to death." Now how do I make God happy so that I can be happy too? And this is when someone's spiritual journey begins.
I know my best friend, the hard-core athiest I mentioned, will never truly be happy with the way her life is now. She may be stubborn and rebellious now, but someday...maybe many years later, I can reach out to her again and bring God with me, maybe then, she will finally stop saying "No one take control of my life but me" and just say "I think I need Help...I think I need my Father." I'm not giving up on her.
And now I'm saying to myself "I'm not giving up on Sister B" either. Yes, I've been hurt. Yes, I've been lied to. Yes, I've been feeling bitterness, hatred, anger, and all those bad emotions because of this situation with her. But this situation taught me an important lesson. And she taught me something. In a way, I've got to admire her strength and independence. She may not have a load of common sense or a load of interpersonal skills, but she's hella strong and kind of brave. In a sense, she's really not afraid of what anyone thinks of her or is that just naivety? I don't know but man, she's one tough cookie...or bread (sourdough bread anyone? I gave some to Steph). Even though she's leaving us officially, I want to make sure she leaves with the knowledge that she's...welcome to come back. She's welcomed here. Yeah, she's got a load of flaws, but so do we all- we just have the common sense to cover it better haha, no I'm just kidding. It's definitely not always common sense that we cover our flaws, most of the times, we do it out of love for each other and I know we all try to change for the better.
So yes. I've forgiven her. I haven't apologized to her yet, but I don't feel anger anymore. Just a little sadness (still feel a little hurt) and a little bit of my stubborness, but my bitterness and my hatred and all those bad bad emotions are kind of wearing off, and now I'm just tired but content.
Love,
Lily
I was really struck by the song we sang today at church: "More than enough." I heard this song a million times already, but today, I heard it differently. It stung me, though it never did before. I realized that you could have everything in the world- great people around you, great friendships, a comfortable lifestyle, money + job, clothing, and shelter, but you won't be truly happy without God in your life. If you're spiritually dead, nothing...I mean nothing in the world is going to make you truly happy. I know because I'm feeling it now- this spiritual deadness within me. I've let it consume me these past few days and the funny thing is I'm still letting it consume me. This process has led to bitterness, anger, self-pity...I know I'm falling away from God but somehow this "I don't care" attitude has dominated the "help me" cry. I know I cried in church; I remember I said to God in prayer: Please help me! But after church, I reverted back to the stubborn, defiant ol' me.
This post is so negative right now but you know, I realized this is a reality for many people. Stories don't always start with "I'm struggling and I'm depressed" and end with "but I prayed to God, felt his wonderful light/presence wash over me...forgiving me...cleansing me and now I am redeemed- I have once again found joy in my life!" But don't worry, this post isn't going to end negatively, though a lot of times it does (I know because one of my best friends in High School was never able to reconcile with God again, fell away from Christianity, and became a hard core atheist). The reason is there is always a struggle in between- it's just a matter of whether you can overcome this struggle or not. This struggle is mostly about "Can I really put my faith in God or should I just rely on myself?" The correct answer is obviously: put your faith in God (in CAPS with an exclamation mark at the end), but do you really believe in this answer? Sometimes we don't. And then there's always human's rebellious nature. Never underestimate this innate rebellion against God born from when Adam and Eve first defied God's command.
I'm feeling that rebelliousness within me right now. Even though I know I need Him, I'm saying and I'm feeling 'I don't care!' and 'God, I just finished that whole fiasco with my other roommate back in the cottage and now this?! I deserve a break! I hardly attended any of my lectures these past 6 weeks- I'm failing school and now I have to deal with this? I need a break." (Why is the kit kat commercial popping up in my head...) Now I'm just being childish. Yikes, I'm going off a tangent...this is why I'm an ENFP...my short attention span strikes again.
My main point is despite all this turmoil, all this struggle, all this hodgepodge of junk (mostly junk like junk thoughts: "I can't believe she lied to me...I can't believe she did this...I can't believe this is happening to me... or "What if my sublet's this evil evil person...what if?" or the "Rights" thoughts- "This is my right to have a break...I have a right to do this because this..that..this that...it's only FAIR that way" or my junk emotions: anger, bitterness, hate, self-pity....), I got to step back and see the big picture: without God, I will never be happy. And then, somehow, every itty bitty little thing just sort of vaporizes. These past few days, I may have done DT...I may have prayed...and I may have gone to church, but my mind was never really on God- my heart was never really with God, it was always elsewhere.
And this is when a chorus of angels come up to sing "HALLELUJAH!" and a spotlight shines on my face. Now I understand why I need him. Now I know why I got to put my faith in him. And now I'm hitting myself and wondering why in the world I'm rebelling against God, why in the world am I rebelling against true happiness? And then I remember when I wrote in a post once: "Happiness is like perfume, you spray a little on others and get some on yourself in the process." This isn't even a biblical statement but I get it. When I make God happy, I become happy as well. When my "lifesong sings to" Him, and "brings a smile to His face" (Casting Crown: "Lifesong"), I 100% doubt anyone is going to say "and then I became sad." Doi! That's analogous to someone saying "I just ate all of Nancy's delicious home-made cheesecake a second ago and I feel so sad because I'm starving to death." Now how do I make God happy so that I can be happy too? And this is when someone's spiritual journey begins.
I know my best friend, the hard-core athiest I mentioned, will never truly be happy with the way her life is now. She may be stubborn and rebellious now, but someday...maybe many years later, I can reach out to her again and bring God with me, maybe then, she will finally stop saying "No one take control of my life but me" and just say "I think I need Help...I think I need my Father." I'm not giving up on her.
And now I'm saying to myself "I'm not giving up on Sister B" either. Yes, I've been hurt. Yes, I've been lied to. Yes, I've been feeling bitterness, hatred, anger, and all those bad emotions because of this situation with her. But this situation taught me an important lesson. And she taught me something. In a way, I've got to admire her strength and independence. She may not have a load of common sense or a load of interpersonal skills, but she's hella strong and kind of brave. In a sense, she's really not afraid of what anyone thinks of her or is that just naivety? I don't know but man, she's one tough cookie...or bread (sourdough bread anyone? I gave some to Steph). Even though she's leaving us officially, I want to make sure she leaves with the knowledge that she's...welcome to come back. She's welcomed here. Yeah, she's got a load of flaws, but so do we all- we just have the common sense to cover it better haha, no I'm just kidding. It's definitely not always common sense that we cover our flaws, most of the times, we do it out of love for each other and I know we all try to change for the better.
So yes. I've forgiven her. I haven't apologized to her yet, but I don't feel anger anymore. Just a little sadness (still feel a little hurt) and a little bit of my stubborness, but my bitterness and my hatred and all those bad bad emotions are kind of wearing off, and now I'm just tired but content.
Love,
Lily
Monday, September 22, 2008
Frozen Soymilk
So I put a half gallon container of soymilk into my lovely refrigerator yesterday and I took it out today. I shook it like I always do but this time I heard this CLUNK CLUNK sound! I hastily twisted open the cap and peered inside...my soymilk FROZE OVERNIGHT! I checked my other juice containers and none of them were frozen like icicles >.<....is the freezing point of soymilk really high or something? Come on science peeps, help me. I can't eat cereal in the morning anymore...I gotta defrost it like frozen chicken now!
=_=...
=_=...
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Under Construction
My blog is going under construction! I'm going to start experimenting with html and web design again yay! And I'm going to make a background that'll make your eyes pop :) Hehehehehe
Ah never mind, back to my old blog.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Lily Yu is not used to the NEW facebook
So I just went on Pastor Will's profile on facebook and wrote "HAPPY BIRTHDAY PASTOR WILL!!!" because every post under me said: Happy Birthday in some form or another...
But what I didn't realize was that now the new facebook has this little "time/date" thingy on the left side (instead of in the wall box) so those "Happy Birthday" posts under my post were actually REALLY REALLY OLD.
Yep. I feel stupid.
---Will post more later...
AHH IT'S SO CUTE I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!
Love,
Lily
But what I didn't realize was that now the new facebook has this little "time/date" thingy on the left side (instead of in the wall box) so those "Happy Birthday" posts under my post were actually REALLY REALLY OLD.
Yep. I feel stupid.
---Will post more later...
AHH IT'S SO CUTE I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!
Love,
Lily
Why am I so lucky?
...to have wonderful sisters like you guys in my life. Sofa, Cata, Carolina, Angel, Nancypooh, Stephypooh, and Jennyroni...you guys are awesome. Did I mention how lucky I am?
I love you guys.
Love,
Lily
I love you guys.
Love,
Lily
Monday, September 15, 2008
Thank you.
I love you all. My wonderful sisters in Christ and my wonderful brothers in Christ. I learn so much from you guys each day. I'm so thankful for all the wisdom you impart...sometimes unconsciously onto me, and the love and care you have all shown to me.
Today I learned patience from Angel. I am probably the most impatient, most intolerant person you'll ever meet. I have no patience for anything...as I'm sure everyone can attest to- and now probably Chuck e' cheese *ahem* I mean Stephen Chee as you have seen me deal with math today. I'm so grateful for the magnitude of your patience. I wouldn't be able to deal with this moving out conflict in my life without you guys. You have all shown compassion, love, and patience for both of us...I need to learn patience. Thank you. I've got lots of flaws but you're all so patient with me. I love you guys.
And today David wrote "I think it's really helpful to read it and think about what applies to you and what does, then if there's anything that your personality is supposed to entail that's bad, then you can try to fix it and stuff too if you know what I mean." That's true. Knowing I'm an ENFP makes things a lot clearer for me. Makes me understand now why sometimes I would rather die than surrender- which can be a horrible hindrance in any relationship or conflict.
In the end, life is about learning and growing, and I'm learning and growing so much each day. Thank you God.
Your sister,
Lily
Today I learned patience from Angel. I am probably the most impatient, most intolerant person you'll ever meet. I have no patience for anything...as I'm sure everyone can attest to- and now probably Chuck e' cheese *ahem* I mean Stephen Chee as you have seen me deal with math today. I'm so grateful for the magnitude of your patience. I wouldn't be able to deal with this moving out conflict in my life without you guys. You have all shown compassion, love, and patience for both of us...I need to learn patience. Thank you. I've got lots of flaws but you're all so patient with me. I love you guys.
And today David wrote "I think it's really helpful to read it and think about what applies to you and what does, then if there's anything that your personality is supposed to entail that's bad, then you can try to fix it and stuff too if you know what I mean." That's true. Knowing I'm an ENFP makes things a lot clearer for me. Makes me understand now why sometimes I would rather die than surrender- which can be a horrible hindrance in any relationship or conflict.
In the end, life is about learning and growing, and I'm learning and growing so much each day. Thank you God.
Your sister,
Lily
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Just Kidding..I'm ENFP yo!
I just realized my Myer's Brigg test came out to be ENFP...lol...and oh my gosh, I was reading these descriptions of ENFP online and THEY'RE SO EXACT IT'S SCARY! Here are a few examples:
"ENFP children are 'into everything.' Their natural curiosity results in children for whom questions were invented. They often spend long periods of time devising new and original --- but not necessarily practical --- languages, plays, and scenarios."
"ENFP teenagers are agreeable, sociable, outgoing people who like to imagine themselves in the future. They spend many hours wondering and discussing with friends whom they will marry, where they will live, what their children will be like, and what work they will do. They leave no option or possibility unexplored and find it difficult to see themselves in any single job or career."
"To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values."
"Do this, do that!" jobs demanding strict compliance with rules, regulations and procedures, and attention to logic, facts and details are stressful for most ENFPs. Their characteristically short attention span and diversity of interests may sabotage their accomplishment in enterprises demanding tenacity and single-mindedness." <-- THIS IS WHY I HATE MATH! Now I know the reason why I'm horrible at it :p
"ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. (Oh really?) They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it."
And LOL this is completely me:
"ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Sometimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped."
Ahhh I feel like the internet knows more about me than I do 0_0
Love,
Lily
"ENFP children are 'into everything.' Their natural curiosity results in children for whom questions were invented. They often spend long periods of time devising new and original --- but not necessarily practical --- languages, plays, and scenarios."
"ENFP teenagers are agreeable, sociable, outgoing people who like to imagine themselves in the future. They spend many hours wondering and discussing with friends whom they will marry, where they will live, what their children will be like, and what work they will do. They leave no option or possibility unexplored and find it difficult to see themselves in any single job or career."
"To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values."
"Do this, do that!" jobs demanding strict compliance with rules, regulations and procedures, and attention to logic, facts and details are stressful for most ENFPs. Their characteristically short attention span and diversity of interests may sabotage their accomplishment in enterprises demanding tenacity and single-mindedness." <-- THIS IS WHY I HATE MATH! Now I know the reason why I'm horrible at it :p
"ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. (Oh really?) They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it."
And LOL this is completely me:
"ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Sometimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped."
Ahhh I feel like the internet knows more about me than I do 0_0
Love,
Lily
Thursday, September 11, 2008
...And the sun keeps shining
"Clouds form, winds blow, rain falls....and the sun keeps shining. Have Faith that this storm will pass." - Hallmark
I realize that everyone in my small group has an issue in their life, whether it's as small as worrying about what to wear to Saturday's wedding to as big as issues about life, love, and relationships, or legal conflicts with roommates, or just overall feeling suffocated by life or by your living situation. I'm humbled however by the even greater worries that mankind face every day...or rather the kind of worries that people outside of our luxurious, sheltered world have to face each day. Here are some pictures that I want to share with you:
If you think your salary is low, how about her?
When you feel like giving up, think of this man:
If you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does?
If your society is unfair to you, how about her?
I feel like I've been plunged into freezing, cold water. And I've surfaced...humbled. My mind is clear now. I wonder what kind of person I would be if I'd grown up from that sort of environment where I would use flattened bottles for shoes and corpses as entertainment. I wonder what kind of person I would be if I've never had a good meal in my life, and have never known luxury at its finest. If I was that kind of person, and I got the chance to come to America, come to Gracepoint...I think I would explode with gratefulness. I think I would never complain; I think I would find joy in the smallest, most banal things that people overlook each day. And food...oh man- I think I would cry with tears of joy every time I see it. Oh, how rich and full our lives are! I'm so thankful.
I think this can be an analogy to when we finally go to heaven and meet our Father. I think it'll be like entering America...for those kids...but x somehugeridiculousnumber. I don't think we'll know true joy until we're there. I don't think we'll know what richness really means until we're there. I don't think we'll know what the word "awe" really means until we're there. I know it'll be wonderful.
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth..." Matthew 6:19 because God has already provided all the treasures in Heaven for you, He has already ordained a place for you there, and is just waiting for you to finally come home.
I don't know what my point in this post is...I'm half rambling but half ruminating on the way I live my life. I guess I'm just trying to shine a light in the darkness. I re-read John:1 yesterday and the line "The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it" struck out to me. I don't know but sometimes I can relate with that statement "the darkness has not understood it..." It's hard, sometimes, to turn to God for your problems. But "Light of the world...he stepped down into darkness...opened my eyes...let me see."
God wants to be in every part of your life, he purposefully stepped into darkness...to share our troubles and to carry the burden with us. He loves us so much but we take it for granted sometimes...or even worse, we don't always think that's true. I know at times when rage or stress takes ahold of me, or when I can't handle something anymore...I sometimes wonder "Why God?...Do you really love me? Because if you did...why would you let me suffer?" or... "Are you really there?" But then God does things in His own unique, loving way that eludes me at first but then it hits me like a ton of bricks later on when I realize that He had a plan to make me stronger or wiser...
So don't give up on Him. Sometimes I do, and it hurts so much when I do because I know it hurts Him too.
Love,
Lily
I realize that everyone in my small group has an issue in their life, whether it's as small as worrying about what to wear to Saturday's wedding to as big as issues about life, love, and relationships, or legal conflicts with roommates, or just overall feeling suffocated by life or by your living situation. I'm humbled however by the even greater worries that mankind face every day...or rather the kind of worries that people outside of our luxurious, sheltered world have to face each day. Here are some pictures that I want to share with you:
If you think your salary is low, how about her?
When you feel like giving up, think of this man:
If you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as he does?
If your society is unfair to you, how about her?
I feel like I've been plunged into freezing, cold water. And I've surfaced...humbled. My mind is clear now. I wonder what kind of person I would be if I'd grown up from that sort of environment where I would use flattened bottles for shoes and corpses as entertainment. I wonder what kind of person I would be if I've never had a good meal in my life, and have never known luxury at its finest. If I was that kind of person, and I got the chance to come to America, come to Gracepoint...I think I would explode with gratefulness. I think I would never complain; I think I would find joy in the smallest, most banal things that people overlook each day. And food...oh man- I think I would cry with tears of joy every time I see it. Oh, how rich and full our lives are! I'm so thankful.
I think this can be an analogy to when we finally go to heaven and meet our Father. I think it'll be like entering America...for those kids...but x somehugeridiculousnumber. I don't think we'll know true joy until we're there. I don't think we'll know what richness really means until we're there. I don't think we'll know what the word "awe" really means until we're there. I know it'll be wonderful.
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth..." Matthew 6:19 because God has already provided all the treasures in Heaven for you, He has already ordained a place for you there, and is just waiting for you to finally come home.
I don't know what my point in this post is...I'm half rambling but half ruminating on the way I live my life. I guess I'm just trying to shine a light in the darkness. I re-read John:1 yesterday and the line "The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it" struck out to me. I don't know but sometimes I can relate with that statement "the darkness has not understood it..." It's hard, sometimes, to turn to God for your problems. But "Light of the world...he stepped down into darkness...opened my eyes...let me see."
God wants to be in every part of your life, he purposefully stepped into darkness...to share our troubles and to carry the burden with us. He loves us so much but we take it for granted sometimes...or even worse, we don't always think that's true. I know at times when rage or stress takes ahold of me, or when I can't handle something anymore...I sometimes wonder "Why God?...Do you really love me? Because if you did...why would you let me suffer?" or... "Are you really there?" But then God does things in His own unique, loving way that eludes me at first but then it hits me like a ton of bricks later on when I realize that He had a plan to make me stronger or wiser...
So don't give up on Him. Sometimes I do, and it hurts so much when I do because I know it hurts Him too.
Love,
Lily
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I'm boreeeedddd
Aw man, everyone's writing these profound, thought-provoking posts and I can't think of anything to say! I should be doing homework...as a matter of fact, I've got a week's worth of homework to do :(
You guys are all at Prayer Meeting right now; I wish I'd gone! I'm not being productive at all. Please visit my apartment some day, I'm lonely and bored :( Betty's gone because she's going to sleep over at her friend's place so I'm allll bored and aloonnnneee in this tinnnnyyy studio by myself- okay. I'm delirious.
I was thinking about Jenny's post today and listening to the podcast for last week's Sunday service that I missed. I wish I had been there to see the slides...especially the one about Pastor Will that caused the entire church to explode in laughter (I think I just went "Hehehehe...heh.....ughhhh...why am I laughing?! I can't even see the picture!"). I also think I fell asleep during the last quarter of his sermon because when I woke up, I couldn't remember whether I had dreamed his sermon or had actually been listening to it. -Sigh- Aish come back soon guys! From Prayer Meeting! And visit me...if you have the chance.
Just positively miserable (okay...I'm exaggerating),
Lily
You guys are all at Prayer Meeting right now; I wish I'd gone! I'm not being productive at all. Please visit my apartment some day, I'm lonely and bored :( Betty's gone because she's going to sleep over at her friend's place so I'm allll bored and aloonnnneee in this tinnnnyyy studio by myself- okay. I'm delirious.
I was thinking about Jenny's post today and listening to the podcast for last week's Sunday service that I missed. I wish I had been there to see the slides...especially the one about Pastor Will that caused the entire church to explode in laughter (I think I just went "Hehehehe...heh.....ughhhh...why am I laughing?! I can't even see the picture!"). I also think I fell asleep during the last quarter of his sermon because when I woke up, I couldn't remember whether I had dreamed his sermon or had actually been listening to it. -Sigh- Aish come back soon guys! From Prayer Meeting! And visit me...if you have the chance.
Just positively miserable (okay...I'm exaggerating),
Lily
And OMG...I just have to share this image with you...it's sooo cutteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Happiness is Like Perfume
Have you ever heard of the saying "Happiness is like perfume...you spray a little on others and get some on yourself in the process"?
This saying by some wise old/young anonymous dude/dudette has kept me going for many, many years. Whenever I'm sad, I seek others who need help; who are sad, and in the process of bringing joy to their lives, I feel my heart lift up as well. That is why I need to serve. I don't think I could be happy just serving myself forever.
Furthermore, I'm learning not to worry so much. I'm learning to just trust God; to have faith and not be Peter walking on water besides Jesus; to be rebuked by the savior: "You of little faith." I have never wholeheartedly trusted God in any situation before, yet God is good. I have never completely believed that he would save me during a crisis...I knew, or I believed, that it is always up to me; the individual; the independent...oh the strong independent girl- I got to take care of myself. No. Footprints on the sand...God walks with me and carries me when I fall...when I am dry, He fills my cup...when I am weak, He is my strength.
I need to trust God with my worries; especially the little ones that get in the way of my path or my purpose in life. It is hard to think about recruiting students for NSWN when my mind is filled with "What kind of scheme will my crazy ex-roommate concoct next?" It is hard to put God first when I'm thinking "How can I survive on just $40 in my bank for the next week or so?" It is hard to concentrate on DT's when I'm thinking "What if I get kicked off Blueprint Leadership because I am unable to find time to paint their 'leadership cabinet'?" Now..."How do I get my package back- the one delivered to an imposter pretending to be me?"and "Will I be able to move in, get my apartment cleaned and ready before school starts or before Betty comes back?"...What if? How is this possible?...Why me?...What's next...? How do I approach this issue...? Little, miniscule worries that are like flies that go "bbzzzzzzzzzzzz" next to my ear every time I try to focus. I can't concentrate.
But I know now all I have to do is breathe and pray... in the morning before the day starts; before things start to get hectic. Because I know then God will be there beside me and then guide me through.
God is good.
Thank you Father.
Love,
Lily
This saying by some wise old/young anonymous dude/dudette has kept me going for many, many years. Whenever I'm sad, I seek others who need help; who are sad, and in the process of bringing joy to their lives, I feel my heart lift up as well. That is why I need to serve. I don't think I could be happy just serving myself forever.
Furthermore, I'm learning not to worry so much. I'm learning to just trust God; to have faith and not be Peter walking on water besides Jesus; to be rebuked by the savior: "You of little faith." I have never wholeheartedly trusted God in any situation before, yet God is good. I have never completely believed that he would save me during a crisis...I knew, or I believed, that it is always up to me; the individual; the independent...oh the strong independent girl- I got to take care of myself. No. Footprints on the sand...God walks with me and carries me when I fall...when I am dry, He fills my cup...when I am weak, He is my strength.
I need to trust God with my worries; especially the little ones that get in the way of my path or my purpose in life. It is hard to think about recruiting students for NSWN when my mind is filled with "What kind of scheme will my crazy ex-roommate concoct next?" It is hard to put God first when I'm thinking "How can I survive on just $40 in my bank for the next week or so?" It is hard to concentrate on DT's when I'm thinking "What if I get kicked off Blueprint Leadership because I am unable to find time to paint their 'leadership cabinet'?" Now..."How do I get my package back- the one delivered to an imposter pretending to be me?"and "Will I be able to move in, get my apartment cleaned and ready before school starts or before Betty comes back?"...What if? How is this possible?...Why me?...What's next...? How do I approach this issue...? Little, miniscule worries that are like flies that go "bbzzzzzzzzzzzz" next to my ear every time I try to focus. I can't concentrate.
But I know now all I have to do is breathe and pray... in the morning before the day starts; before things start to get hectic. Because I know then God will be there beside me and then guide me through.
God is good.
Thank you Father.
Love,
Lily
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I LOVEEEE EBAY...do I?
Oh joy, the beginning of a new semester is approaching. Waitlisted classes...check. Tele-bears dying at impromptu moments...check. Ned's refusing to buy back my old textbooks...check. Buying new textbooks...AH! Why are they so expensive?!
So I go on the lovely ebay.com, and JOY OF JOYS!- I find my econ 100b textbook $80 cheaper! w00t w00t. I immediately bid- I'm first hah-hah-hahahha!
That was 4 days ago.
I come back today, 4 days later and I've been outbidded 10 times 0_0 -insert anime sweat drop-
Okay...no big deal, so I wait...for another 24 hours and finally there's about an hour left of the auction. I set my maximum bid, and I proudly say it's a nice, solid, hefty number and I KNOW no one's gonna be able to outbid me hah-hah-hahahaha.
Now there's 9 seconds left. I'm clicking the refresh button like a madwoman. 8...7...6...5... ("You're still the highest bidder!")...4...3....2...1...(Uh oh something's wrong...why is the ENTIRE PAGE REFRESHING!?)....0
WHAT?!
Cries.
I hate ebay.com
Your miserable sister,
Lily
P.S Does anyone have a Macreconomics 6th edition textbook I could borrow? Help me Gracepoint.
So I go on the lovely ebay.com, and JOY OF JOYS!- I find my econ 100b textbook $80 cheaper! w00t w00t. I immediately bid- I'm first hah-hah-hahahha!
That was 4 days ago.
I come back today, 4 days later and I've been outbidded 10 times 0_0 -insert anime sweat drop-
Okay...no big deal, so I wait...for another 24 hours and finally there's about an hour left of the auction. I set my maximum bid, and I proudly say it's a nice, solid, hefty number and I KNOW no one's gonna be able to outbid me hah-hah-hahahaha.
Now there's 9 seconds left. I'm clicking the refresh button like a madwoman. 8...7...6...5... ("You're still the highest bidder!")...4...3....2...1...(Uh oh something's wrong...why is the ENTIRE PAGE REFRESHING!?)....0
|
WHAT?!
Cries.
I hate ebay.com
Your miserable sister,
Lily
P.S Does anyone have a Macreconomics 6th edition textbook I could borrow? Help me Gracepoint.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Comic Relief- Cooking Pow! Jenny Zhao
I cannot leave this unsaid...or unwritten. So I spent an afternoon in Cata's place doing my essay, or attempting to do my essay. Who would of thought my anticipated deary afternoon would turn into such an interesting one.
After two hours of developing thesis, you know? Being Sherlock Holmes; spotting evidence; looking underneath the underneath...reading between the lines (Sometimes I wonder whether I should just quit pursuing Rhetoric and start chasing criminals- I think I'd do an excellent job as a private eye), I decided to take a break. And lo and behold, Betty bounces into the living room and asks me how I get my face to be so clear (No Pimples! 0_0 Ah that's a lie). -Blink- Here, I'm going to omit the rest of the conversation to save both of us the embarrassment of having our girly tête-à-tête publicized to the world. But I'll admit it ended with me writing her two shopping list recommendations on a small yellow notepad. Fin.
Monotony ensues...an hour passes...
Jenny comes into the kitchen and begins to- I think- cook. "Lily, want some soup?" She asks. "Of course!" I reply (I'm a pig. Period.) and then I go back to reading Walter Pater's Conclusion, feeling decidely more happy than thirty seconds before, until I hear "OH SHOOT!"
And a few minutes of silence pass, except for the rustle of frozen food packaging, and then "OOPS!" At this point, I cannot concentrate any longer. I place my reader down on the cushion beside me, fold my legs into a meditative position, close my eyes, and then waited in anticipation. I was not disappointed. Another "OH NO!" burst through the kitchen...and SPOOF! (I think that was the sound of boiling water erupting from the pot). There. I have documented Jenny cooking and immortalized it on this blog =) Yay. Still I'll confess the soup was fantastic- just the right POOF! to get my taste buds going.
Well that was fun. All right, so I was practicing a little Rhetoric while I wrote this blog. If you're smart, you might be able to identify about 50 tropes in the paragraphs above.
Love,
Lily
After two hours of developing thesis, you know? Being Sherlock Holmes; spotting evidence; looking underneath the underneath...reading between the lines (Sometimes I wonder whether I should just quit pursuing Rhetoric and start chasing criminals- I think I'd do an excellent job as a private eye), I decided to take a break. And lo and behold, Betty bounces into the living room and asks me how I get my face to be so clear (No Pimples! 0_0 Ah that's a lie). -Blink- Here, I'm going to omit the rest of the conversation to save both of us the embarrassment of having our girly tête-à-tête publicized to the world. But I'll admit it ended with me writing her two shopping list recommendations on a small yellow notepad. Fin.
Monotony ensues...an hour passes...
Jenny comes into the kitchen and begins to- I think- cook. "Lily, want some soup?" She asks. "Of course!" I reply (I'm a pig. Period.) and then I go back to reading Walter Pater's Conclusion, feeling decidely more happy than thirty seconds before, until I hear "OH SHOOT!"
And a few minutes of silence pass, except for the rustle of frozen food packaging, and then "OOPS!" At this point, I cannot concentrate any longer. I place my reader down on the cushion beside me, fold my legs into a meditative position, close my eyes, and then waited in anticipation. I was not disappointed. Another "OH NO!" burst through the kitchen...and SPOOF! (I think that was the sound of boiling water erupting from the pot). There. I have documented Jenny cooking and immortalized it on this blog =) Yay. Still I'll confess the soup was fantastic- just the right POOF! to get my taste buds going.
Well that was fun. All right, so I was practicing a little Rhetoric while I wrote this blog. If you're smart, you might be able to identify about 50 tropes in the paragraphs above.
Love,
Lily
A Little Estranged
When your life is moving at a cheetah's pace; everything's a blur. You don't have time to stop and reflect.
My thoughts are all jumbled. I'm living the present- don't have time to ponder the past or the future. Don't have time to read the bible; do DT; PRAY except for that thirty second interval before a meal.
I feel estranged from my Father...
I want to slow down...Pause. And reflect. I want to breathe.
I'm going to pray tonight. Father, I'm going to pray to you tonight.
Love,
Lily
P.S. Thank you Nancy for helping me with the moving and the yummylicious pancakes you cooked this morning =) You're so wonderful! I love you <3
My thoughts are all jumbled. I'm living the present- don't have time to ponder the past or the future. Don't have time to read the bible; do DT; PRAY except for that thirty second interval before a meal.
I feel estranged from my Father...
I want to slow down...Pause. And reflect. I want to breathe.
I'm going to pray tonight. Father, I'm going to pray to you tonight.
Love,
Lily
P.S. Thank you Nancy for helping me with the moving and the yummylicious pancakes you cooked this morning =) You're so wonderful! I love you <3
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Tough Times...Loving Times
Thank you my A2F3 soph sisters =) I love you all.
I wrote in my last post: Life is a roller coaster. Every day seems to crawl by before my final moment of complete freedom. But I'm not riding this roller coaster alone. I have my sisters there with me- you're what started the uphill ride...and you're what will take the cart to it's climax. So there's ups and downs, but as Sister S and Brother D said: the downs in life are important too, and like Sister S told me one time: "God will never give you more trials/obstacles in life than you can handle." Thank you Sister S.
Love,
Lily
I wrote in my last post: Life is a roller coaster. Every day seems to crawl by before my final moment of complete freedom. But I'm not riding this roller coaster alone. I have my sisters there with me- you're what started the uphill ride...and you're what will take the cart to it's climax. So there's ups and downs, but as Sister S and Brother D said: the downs in life are important too, and like Sister S told me one time: "God will never give you more trials/obstacles in life than you can handle." Thank you Sister S.
Love,
Lily
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Life is a rollercoaster...
Happiness flies by but sadness crawls. The same cycle happens with roller coasters. The ride up feels like forever before the drop. Okay so it's just about 20-30 seconds going up, but really it feels longer; it drags by as if days have passed and then at the epitome, the peak, the "up," WHOOSH! The cart drops and speeds down at an average of 50-100 mph (depending on the roller coaster you ride)...but really it feels like 234987324 mph. It's over in less than a millisecond.
Cherish happiness.
Love,
Lily
P.S. Happy Birthday Daniel! I'm sorry I couldn't make it to tonight's dinner party at Crossroads. I'll make it up to you x10 =)
Cherish happiness.
Love,
Lily
P.S. Happy Birthday Daniel! I'm sorry I couldn't make it to tonight's dinner party at Crossroads. I'll make it up to you x10 =)
Thank You Again!
Dear A2F3 brothers and sisters + Ellen and Jackie,
Hahaha I love you guys =)
My mother was not wrong when she wrote an email to me and said: "You are blessed to have such wonderful people in your life." I completely agreed with her at the time (though a tad confused because she seemed to know something about you guys that I did not know...haha now I know it had a little something to do with the birthday present you were all planning together).
I never had friends in my life who...cared so much for me; who loves me so much...so much that I feel like my relationship with all of you is not far from my relationship with God. In the past, I always seemed to love harder or love stronger than my friend's love for me. I opened up to them as quick as possible and hoped in vain that they would open up to me, confide in me, share their thoughts with me in the same way I shared my thoughts with them...loved them...cared for them...so that we could establish a close relationship and then I would no longer feel alone. I was searching...I truly prayed to God nearly every night that I would find a place to belong in so that I would no longer feel self-conscious, angry, or feel like there's no reason to live. I got hurt a lot this way. It's so much easier to be on the receiving end of hurt when it's a one-sided relationship. I was an atheist back then.
Once I accepted Christ around the middle or end of tenth grade, I had changed a lot. I had shut myself down and began to just listen, but not talk; just look, but not express; just like but not love. Although circumstances progressed and changed a little once I got to college, I was still very much my new self- an independent, individualistic being. It was just God, me, and my purpose. What this purpose was...back then...probably didn't revolve around love or fellowship...it revolved around success, money, fame (though I promised in the back of my mind that if I got rich and famous, I'll donate to charity...an outlook that I now view with disgust (not at my actions, but at the bare minimum that I would do in order to further the Kingdom of God)).
Therefore I feel so blessed to have met you guys. To have met Gracepoint. My life will never be the same. But it'll be a good kind of "never be the same" haha =) I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us, what God has in store for us. I want to do something grand for Him. Something grand that could involve all of us. We are so strong together! We are so powerful together! We can do anything as long as we're together! No obstacles can stand our way. No thorns can block our path. We not only struggle together; we fight together.
So let's open up to each other more.
Communicate. Love. Family.
Sincerely,
Your sister in Christ,
Lily
P.S. I love the guitar! I will use it and play it to the fullest. I will cherish this gift forever. Thank You.
Hahaha I love you guys =)
My mother was not wrong when she wrote an email to me and said: "You are blessed to have such wonderful people in your life." I completely agreed with her at the time (though a tad confused because she seemed to know something about you guys that I did not know...haha now I know it had a little something to do with the birthday present you were all planning together).
I never had friends in my life who...cared so much for me; who loves me so much...so much that I feel like my relationship with all of you is not far from my relationship with God. In the past, I always seemed to love harder or love stronger than my friend's love for me. I opened up to them as quick as possible and hoped in vain that they would open up to me, confide in me, share their thoughts with me in the same way I shared my thoughts with them...loved them...cared for them...so that we could establish a close relationship and then I would no longer feel alone. I was searching...I truly prayed to God nearly every night that I would find a place to belong in so that I would no longer feel self-conscious, angry, or feel like there's no reason to live. I got hurt a lot this way. It's so much easier to be on the receiving end of hurt when it's a one-sided relationship. I was an atheist back then.
Once I accepted Christ around the middle or end of tenth grade, I had changed a lot. I had shut myself down and began to just listen, but not talk; just look, but not express; just like but not love. Although circumstances progressed and changed a little once I got to college, I was still very much my new self- an independent, individualistic being. It was just God, me, and my purpose. What this purpose was...back then...probably didn't revolve around love or fellowship...it revolved around success, money, fame (though I promised in the back of my mind that if I got rich and famous, I'll donate to charity...an outlook that I now view with disgust (not at my actions, but at the bare minimum that I would do in order to further the Kingdom of God)).
Therefore I feel so blessed to have met you guys. To have met Gracepoint. My life will never be the same. But it'll be a good kind of "never be the same" haha =) I can't wait to see what the future has in store for us, what God has in store for us. I want to do something grand for Him. Something grand that could involve all of us. We are so strong together! We are so powerful together! We can do anything as long as we're together! No obstacles can stand our way. No thorns can block our path. We not only struggle together; we fight together.
So let's open up to each other more.
Communicate. Love. Family.
Sincerely,
Your sister in Christ,
Lily
P.S. I love the guitar! I will use it and play it to the fullest. I will cherish this gift forever. Thank You.
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